In the last 5 months I have been "Under Construction" letting God take the wheel in my life. I've come to the realization that I need to start dating with a purpose. My purpose for dating is to be in a committed relationship headed toward marriage. I rather go on quality dates with men who are of character, integrity, and have morals and values that are backed by their beliefs in God, than to go on dates with randoms. I'm not worried about quantity. I can't and won't waste my time. I've learned to approach dating as a fun evening with good company and enjoy conversation rather than interviewing my candidate to see if we are compatible beyond date one. I've also gotten out of my comfort zone and done the hitting on. Yes, I mean going up to guys (My G is like that) and starting conversations. This has built up my confidence and self esteem and I recommend all females give it a try just once.
In the last 5 months I've embraced my singleness as wholeness and have learned what I really want in a partner. I truly believe you have to know yourself and become a whole person before you can be with someone else. You don't want to go into your next relationship as two broken souls, but as two whole individuals adding value to each others lives. You have to be happy with who you are inside and out before you can be happy with someone else. It took me sometime to get this way especially after my last relationship and other failed relationships/friends with benefit situations. I had to learn to relinquish control and take down some of the bricks surrounding my heart. It would not be fair to the next knight that comes along in shining armour for me to still be carrying baggage. I also learned that I had to forgive myself for my past in order to live in the present and ask God to control my future. Talk about a burden and load lifted. I realized that I owe it all to God for revealing to me my self worth and my own strength. Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, renew a right spirit within me. He did exactly that made my heart clean and open to love again while giving me the power of the holy spirit to comfort me.
I've enjoyed my single life for the last two years, and I'm ready for a serious relationship leading to holy martimony. I have marriage on my menu. I know it may seem strange especially because I don't have any star players in the line up. But I'm ready for dual incomes (yes I said it), coming home from work to spending time with my best friend, someone to be vulnerable to, someone to hold me accountable, to love, to hold me, to make me laugh, to have deep discussions/conversations with, who understands me, but most importantly someone who loves God and seeks him first in the decisions we make as a couple. To me marriage is a business partnership backed by God's grace and mercy with love as the motivation to keep the business running. As my six months "Under Construction" comes to an end next month, I plan to begin to date with a purpose knowing that God has something "AMAZING" in store for me. I'm like Esther getting "purified" for my King, or like Ruth waiting for Boaz to find me. :0)
Until next time,
~E
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