3 months old

Dear Maxwell,

You are 3 months old today. Where did the time go? You are growing like a weed and making us proud. You are teaching us patience and showing us the true meaning of unconditional love. We love on you, pray for you, talk and speak life to you daily. You make our days better. You have been in daycare for 3 weeks now and are adjusting gracefully. We are still battling reflux and know that it soon will pass. We complained when you were a month old stating “why doesn’t he cry”. And boy did we ask for it! You let us know how you feel, when you feel, and why you are feeling by your cries. Sometimes we know how to soothe you other times we don’t, but we are all learning together. You weigh 13 lbs and 8 oz. You are rolling over from your stomach to your back. You are now sucking your hands and thumbs. You love your pacifier or wubbanub. You love Jazz music and laying on your belly. As we enter Flu and RSV season I pray that God continues to shield and protect you from germs and viruses. We are thankful that you are meeting milestones and developing where you should be, and excited for what this next month will bring.





I love you forever!

Mom

Mommy and Maxwell Blessing Fund!

Happy 1 Month Maxwell!


www.youcaring.com/mommyandmaxwell

Please continue to share our story and donate to our you caring fund!







We appreciate all the love support prayers and thoughts as we have Maxwell home.

Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Maxwell is Home!

It's been a long 25 days spent in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit)/NPCN (Neonatal Progressive Care Unit). A MRI, physical therapy, tests, temperatures taken every diaper change, going from a feeding tube to bottle feeding all meals, and beginning to breastfeed, Maxwell has been through a lot and he is truly a miracle baby.









Below is a timeline of all that I did in my journey with Maxwell in the NICU and NPCN.

8/22 changed first diaper
8/28 changed first dirty diaper
8/29 went up to 30ml feedings moved to Progressive NICU will be here until he comes home
8/30 took bottle first time only half
9/2 moved to bassinet.
9/3 taking 6 bottles a day and first time breastfeeding twice.
9/4 moved back to isolet because kept getting cold
9/9 5.5lbs and feeding tube removed from mouth/throat taking all bottles now need to work on temperature control and moved back to bassinet.
9/10 told by nurse practitioner he could get discharged on 9/12 pending he kept his temperature up.
9/11 temp dropped overnight has to hold normal range temp for 48 hours earliest could go home 9/14.
9/12 temp held overnight doctors want to release/discharge him on 9/13. Asked for hospital pics before he left. Below is a few samples/proofs.





Stayed at hospital overnight and woke up every 3 hours to feed him, take temp, etc..
9/13 Maxwell came home. Went through all discharge information and follow up appt with nurse and was excited to leave the hospital with a baby.

I haven't really processed my thoughts on the NICU experience in detail, but overall I'm happy and pleased with the nurses and doctors and the care Maxwell was given during his stay.

Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

The operation that saved my life!

Knowing that your life has purpose is something you stick in the back of your mind until you hear "you almost died" or "you are a miracle", that life purpose is put into perspective.



Tuesday, August 19 I didn't expect to have a baby nor did I expect my husband and doctor make a decision that would change my life. If you read Maxwell's birth story from last week I mentioned that I had to have a surgery to save my life. I went to the hospital with placenta eruption where my placenta was detaching from my uterus. My uterus would not stop bleeding and I lost a lot of blood. My doctor and husband decided in order to stop the bleeding it was best to give me a hysterectomy or remove my uterus. They airlifted me to the main hospital so that I could receive a blood transfusion and they could close up my incision once I became more stable. I had tubes down my throat in the intensive care unit. I was in an out during this time and don't remember much, but when I did wake up I asked to watch CNN and wanted my cell phone (so I was told). I wasn't allowed to talk because of the tube down my throat. I communicated via writing and texts.

During this time my doctor was nervous about my outcome she even asked my husband to pray for her and the other surgeons in the operating room. My husband really down played the seriousness of what happened and it wasn't until I asked if he was scared that tears started flowing from his eyes and he let me know he wasn't sure I was going to make it.

But God! Everyone may not have that shout, but I do so does everyone who was praying for my recovery. I was able to get the tube out of my throat and was breathing on my own. My blood transfusion, blood count, and platelets were working. I had to have an additional surgery to close up my incision on Friday, August 22, and that surgery went well.

Friday night I was moved from intensive care to a regular OB room to recover. I was given a breast pump and allowed to see my son Maxwell. Friday was my first time doing skin to skin with Max and it was the best feeling in the world.




Now as for my recovery, I'm taking it easy and taking my pain medicine as scheduled. I'm out of work for 8 weeks and praying to take more time off to spend with Maxwell when he comes home. Recovering from a hysterectomy is a little different than recovering from a normal c-section mainly because I don't have a uterus contracting. Taking it easy, making less trips up and down stairs, and not doing any lifting will grant me a smooth recovery.

I haven't fully comprehended the thoughts of not being able to bear another child. It makes me sad to think about it, but I'm thankful for my life and the life of Maxwell. I still have my ovaries, Fallopian tubes and cervix. Who knows what will happen in the future when we are ready for more children. Right now I just want to enjoy raising Maxwell with my husband and defining my success as a mom.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

My Rainbow Baby is here: Birth of Baby Maxwell McAfee

Where do I begin? Yes baby Maxwell Immanuel McAfee is here. He was born via emergency cesarean section on Tuesday, August 19, 2014 at 2:19pm. He was 4lbs 7oz 17 1/4" long.













Maxwell means Max's spring or well or capable
Immanuel means God With Us

God was truly with us this last week of the beginning of his life. On Tuesday, I went to training for work and ended up leaving before lunch because I felt bad and like I was having some contractions. The uneasy feeling didn't end after laying down so I called Brandon and asked him to come home to drive to me to hospital. We got to the hospital at 1:45pm, and I was in so much pain the immediately rolled us into triage and began checking for Maxwell's pulse. They couldn't get a strong one so immediately I went into the operating room for an emergency c-section. That's all I remember until I woke up on Wednesday afternoon.



Long story short my placenta had erupted or separated from my uterus and my uterus was contracting to stop from bleeding internally. The bleeding was stopped and I was airlifted to another hospital for another surgery and additional monitoring. Maxwell was recessitated when born, and immediately started breathing on his own. He has shown great progress since last Tuesday, but he still is premature and we don't know the long term effects of him not receiving oxygen for some unknown period of time. But we are faithful and grateful for my life and his life. God truly smiled on both of us last week and we can't give him enough praise!




As for me and my recovery I'll share in another post the details, but I'm getting released from the hospital today and will be home as long I can be and definitely the entire time he is in the NCIU.

I will have time to blog more about my journey as a new mom, NICU experience, and journey from breast pumping to feeding my baby boy.



He is here and we thank God for our miracle our rainbow baby!




Keep the Faith!

Until next time,

~E

Faith over Fear: 3rd Trimester Blues

With 5 weeks left in this pregnancy I'm still scheduled to have a cesarean section at 38 weeks (date and time TBD), I'm an emotional mess. I find myself just crying for no reason at all, at the simplest things. My body is growing, my limbs are swollen, and I have no energy to do anything, but sit on my butt when I get home from work. Sigh! Below are some worries, fears, and blues I have as I prepare my heart and mind for delivery.


1. Weight gain and excessive swollen limbs - these last 3 weeks I've experienced the worse of being swollen. No matter how much fluid I drink, I still look like the Pillsbury dough girl. I have finally found a balance with drinking water and other fluids and literally sleeping with my feet on pillows to reduce the swelling in my feet and hands. My biggest concern with excess fluid and weight gain is a repeat of having pre-eclampsia which will cause for immediate delivery of Maxwell. My doctors have been watching the protein levels in my urine and I've done my best not to sweat the small stuff. If my clothes don't get folded or the dishes ain't washed or the house is not clean, I could care less. My health and Maxwell's health is all that matters to me in the last few weeks.


2. Movement - as you can imagine not feeling the baby move is heart breaking in more than one way. It's solely your responsibility to know when something is wrong with the baby at this stage in the pregnancy. I still beat myself up for not knowing something was wrong with BJ in the 9 months I carried him. So, not feeling Maxwell move is a major concern for me. I found myself crying and almost hysterical because I forget the last time he moved, but then I just pray to God and he kicks. Sometimes, fear continues to creep up and I remember that Faith comes by hearing and work through believing that God can and will provide.


3. Repeat cesarean section - I've been having day dreams & dreams about this pending c-section. I'm nervous, anxious, and prayerful that I won't have the same experience in the OR. I dream of hearing Maxwell cry. That's all I want to hear is his cry for me to know that he is alright. After that I just want to hold him for hours and just have my time with him. That's all I dream about and all I long for. I haven't even dreamt about breastfeeding, his circumcision, or even bringing him home. My biggest desire is for him to be healthy. Of course my biggest fear is the obvious not bringing him home. The hardest part about Faith is, believing God is good when we've experienced something oh so bad. but the truth remains he is faithful!


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 31 Pregnancy Update!

The countdown has begun until Maxwell's arrival.  We are excited and overjoyed and very nervous, but know that God is in control and we are putting our worries in his hands.

Picture taken by my husband Brandon at our BaBy Q Baby Shower August 9

How far along? 31 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 2 lbs this week, 29 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. Purchased some cheap T-shirts from Target to get me through to wear with work pants and cardigans.
Stretch marks: None new. Been using lots of whipped Shea and coconut butter.
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: Successful BaBy Q baby shower.  I had a great time and enjoyed my time with everyone who came to the shower.
Miss anything Nothing this week.
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He has finally settled head down.
Food cravings: Chocolate
Anything making you queasy or sick? Pasta salad from the shower made me very queasy this week that we had to discard it :(
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: Some Braxton Hicks but nothing that water can't help out.
Symptoms: lots of distinct movement and hiccups from Maxwell at certain times throughout the day.  He moved a lot in the early morning and evening.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Off.  Placed both bands on a necklace and will keep them there for the duration of the pregnancy.
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! I am looking forward to the doctors setting a date and time for delivery. I am also looking forward to finalizing the nursery and using the gift cards given to me during the shower to make final purchases for the nursery.
Looking forward to: Purchasing the final items for the nursery, washing and folding up clothes and organizing the rest of the house to prepare for baby.  Finding out my official csection date and telling the world lol  Successfully transitioning my duties at work so that I'm able to take off the duration of the year and return in 2015.

Keep the Faith!

Until next time,
~E

BaBy Q Baby Shower Success!

My Barbecue BaBy Q themed baby shower was a success this past Saturday.  Here are some highlights via pictures.

It was such a great event planned by my mom and sister and everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves despite the rain and overcast weather.

Maxwell was truly blessed by all the gifts received and I can't wait for him to use every piece of clothing, diaper and wipe, and toy that was gifted to him during this shower.

The countdown begins until his arrival!

Keep the Faith!

Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 30 Pregnancy Update!

How far along? 30 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 0lbs this week, 27 lbs total
Cervical length shorter 1.8-1.9cm typical for this stage in pregnancy and how big the baby is
Maxwell approx weight: 3lbs 11oz he was 2lb 5oz at 22 weeks if he continues to double in weight he will be over 5lbs at my Week 34 ultrasound! I'm excited!
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. I counted I have 10 shirts that can grow with me over the next 7-8 weeks. No need to purchased anything new.
Stretch marks: None new. Been using lots of whipped Shea and coconut butter.
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: Lipsticks surprised to me from my husband. Loved them and of course they were Mac. Also, successful planning and execution of my BFFs bridal shower. It went exactly as planned and turned out wonderfully!
Miss anything Nothing this week.
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He has finally settled head down. He would not show us his face during the ultrasound.

No pics please


Food cravings: pizza
Anything making you queasy or sick? tried pizza again but didn't have any side effects from it. Maybe will try spaghetti to see how it works for me. Nothing this week though making me queasy.
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None
Symptoms: lots of distinct movement and hiccups from Maxwell at certain times throughout the day. He moved a lot in the early morning and evening.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On/Off I'm wearing my engagement ring not my wedding band. Engagement ring is bigger than my wedding band.
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! I am looking forward to the doctors setting a date and time for delivery. I am also looking forward to finalizing the nursery.
Looking forward to:. My barbecue baby shower this upcoming Saturday August 9. Finding out my official csection date and telling the world lol


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Breast is best?!? Breastfeeding vs Formula Debate!

World Breastfeeding Week is from August 1- August 7 and its theme this year is "Winning a Goal for Life."



This year's WABA World Breastfeeding Week (WBW) theme asserts the importance of increasing and sustaining the protection, promotion and support of breastfeeding - in the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) countdown, and beyond. We call on all celebrants of WBW to Protect, Promote and Support Breastfeeding: it is a vital Life-Saving Goal!





In honor of World Breastfeeding Week I wanted to share my thoughts on the breastfeeding vs. formula debate and where I stand.  Breast is best? or is it?  Yes, studies have shown that breastfeeding is the best thing a mom can do for her child and her well being.  It stimulates a bond between a child and mother that is like no other bond.  It also sheds pounds quicker for mom and reduces her chances of having breast, ovarian, or cervical cancers.







I've been pregnant twice as you know and both pregnancies ended in losses.  In both pregnancies I also produced breast milk shortly after birth.  With my son BJ my milk came in around 5 days after I had him and with my daughter Brielle it came in 3 days after I had her.  I can only imagine how things will be with skin to skin contact with Maxwell how fast my milk will come in.  It makes me excited to know that I could breastfeed him.



However, I know that breastfeeding comes with its challenges.  He may not latch properly.  He may not gain weight due to latching and other reasons.  My nipples could be cracked, sore, and all of the above. I'm still going to give my all to breastfeeding and if it doesn't work I'm not going to beat myself up for giving my baby boy formula. I was a formula baby just like many babies born in the 80s and formula works just as well as breast milk. Breast is best but formula works as well!


Keep the Faith!

Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 29 Pregnancy Update!

Week 29 was a great week.  We had a church conference and a lunch with the church that turned into a baby shower.  They gifted us diapers, wipes, and bottles.  We were very blessed and makes me look forward to my baby shower next weekend and my diaper shower at work.

How far along? 29 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 1 lbs this week, 28 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. I have been rotating larger tunic style shirts and wearing larger sleeveless shirts with light sweaters to make my wardrobe stretch.  I hate to purchase new clothes that I probably won't wear anymore past being pregnant.
Stretch marks: None new. Been using lots of whipped Shea and coconut butter.
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: Our impromptu baby shower given by our church.
Miss anything Champagne.  We are having Mimosa's for my BFF bridal shower this weekend and I know I'm going to be like why can't I have a sip. LOL  Counting down until my celebratory champagne when Maxwell gets here.
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He continues to move from head down to feet down to feet side ways and in between.  It really doesn't matter to me if he ends up breech or not because we are having a c-section.  I just much rather him kick me in my ribs than my lady parts.  LOL
Food cravings: S'mores.  Yes, I did make some.
Anything making you queasy or sick? No acid reflux since I've stopped eating pork and drinking regular milk.  Lactose milk has been working great.
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None
Symptoms: Braxton Hicks contractions.  These kinda scare me because I never had them in my first pregnancy, leads me to believe that he may come earlier than our scheduled c-section date.  I pray that he comes when he is ready and I will continue to ask God to give me peace as we get closer to being full term.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On, lots of swelling this week due to me not drinking water after I go to the bathroom.  Call me crazy but I re-hydrate myself after I use the restroom and I did not do that this weekend so I woke up on Sunday looking like a puff ball. LOL  Lesson learned and I will continue to keep a 24 pack of water in the car when we travel from now until Max comes.  We only have this weekend's trip left to travel to Va, and two more trips for me to Smithfield for church until Max arrives.
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!  I am looking forward to the doctors setting a date and time for delivery. I am also looking forward to what August has to bring including baby shower and finalizing the nursery.
Looking forward to:. My ultrasound for 30 weeks on Friday.  I'm excited to see how much he has grown from my 26 week update.  I will share how big he is next week.  My BFF Bridal shower this weekend August 2 and my barbecue baby shower August 9.

Maternity Leave! How long should it be?

Maternity leave or time away from work after the birth or adoption of a child is needed for new mothers and new parents as they recover from delivery and adapt to nurturing this new life. Paid maternity leave is very common in other countries where mothers are paid up to a year after a child is born. The US lags behind on paid maternity leave compared to its counterparts, however each US business must adhere to the 1993 Family Medical Leave Act granting new mothers at least 12 weeks of unpaid maternity leave. Each company can also have their own maternity policy as well as short term disability rules where they could give you full pay for 6 weeks for a natural birth or 8 weeks for a cesarean birth. How long should maternity leave should be?



Let's face it not every new mom can afford to stay at home for a year after their baby is born. Dual incomes are essential to keeping up the households. I personally would love to stay at home for the first 6 months of Maxwells life, but it's not my reality. Maternity leave should be as long as you want it to be and should also be planned for. If you want to take a year off, plan for it, save for it before you even think about having children. Learn to live off of one income and downsize if you need to. We didn't plan for me taking off 6 months like I wanted to, but I do plan on taking off 3.5 months once Maxwell arrives and use a combination of short term disability, FMLA, and vacation to do so.

Paid maternity leave is a very controversial topic in the US because we are so far from other countries and sometimes it's not seen as a benefit but as a hindrance. But being informed and knowing what your company's policies are will help you maximize the time home with your baby.


Keep the Faith!

Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 28 Pregnancy Update!

"Dressed in all black like the omen"

Excuse the dirty mirror!

How far along? 28 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 2lbs this week, 27 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. I am going to need some new shirts but haven't found anything worth investing in for the next 8-9 weeks.
Stretch marks: None new. Been using lots of whipped Shea and coconut butter.
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: My 29th Birthday, my parents and grandparents coming in town for the weekend and finally moving things around in my nursery.
Miss anything We are grown up right?!! Intimate moments (sex) with my husband. I've missed this all along, but never really wrote about it. Being celibate during pregnancy is a doctors request/demand due to my cerclage, and we are 7 months into it. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel of not being hormonal and feeling normal again. However, the biggest difference after Maxwell arrives will be that my boobs won't be mine or my husbands they will be Maxwells. This maybe TMI for you, but I need to write about it so I can look back and remember how I felt about it at 7 months pregnant. I'm sure my husband is gonna smile reading this. We are still intimate in other ways, but I miss those moments with him.
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He moves from head down to feet down. I can't wait until he finds his final place head down. He is sitting sideways and movement comes from all over so I'm not sure how he is positioned. His kicks are getting stronger and those hiccups he has makes me giggle. A good sign that the diaphragm is working and preparing the lungs for breathing.
Food cravings: pizza and Krispy Kreme doughnuts
Anything making you queasy or sick? The lactose milk is working well. No acid reflux this week.
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None
Symptoms: lots of movement and hiccups from Maxwell.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! I am looking forward to the doctors setting a date and time for delivery. I am also looking forward to what August has to bring including baby shower and finalizing the nursery.
Looking forward to:. My BFF Bridal shower next weekend August 2 and my barbecue baby shower August 9.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Planning a Baby Shower/BaBy Q

Planning a baby shower can be exciting, but also can be tedious as you want every detail to match the theme.

1) First thing when planning an event is to decide who would host the shower, where it would be located, and what date/dates would work for the hosts. My mom and sister are hosting my shower and the date we chose worked for the location and half of them, my sister. The other half my mom had already planned a vacation on that weekend, however she will only be a few hours away to drive into town for that day to help plan, decorate, clean, and organize for the shower. So, the date August 9 and location, my community clubhouse was reserved for the shower.

2) The next thing was to decide on a theme. When we found out we were expecting and I knew I would be due in the early fall, I wanted a barbecue/cookout food shower. I love cookouts during anytime of the year especially during the summer months. You know I have this love affair with watermelon and I don’t/won’t pass up a good burger. Having a BaBy Q or Barbecue themed baby shower was a must.

3) Once the theme was set and a invite was created by yours truly. The next thing on the to do list was deciding on a guest list and actually registering for the shower. Who did we want to invite? Of course we invited family, friends, and we also invited friends from church and our jobs. Once the guest list was finalized we sent out invites 5 weeks before the date of the shower with a RSVP date of a week before the event. Where did I want to register? I wrote a blog post on my registry experience and I’m excited about how my registry came together. I placed items there that were needed and some wanted. I specified to purchase larger size clothes from 3-6 month and up.

4) Next on the list is Food, Games, and Prizes/Favors. My mom and my sister have been collaborating on the prizes and favors. They have some great Barbecue themed prizes and favors purchased and I can’t wait to share how the shower came together in a few weeks. As far as food, you know it’s going to be the typical barbecue food, burgers, hot dogs, etc. We may also do some chicken and vegetable skewers as well as some seafood options for those who aren’t meat friendly. A must is a fruit salad with watermelon and of course for dessert cupcakes and Blue Bell ice cream. If you are going to have ice cream it has to be Blue Bell. Games is the hardest part of this decision as you want your games to match your theme. Also, because this barbecue shower is co-ed you want the games to be male friendly. I’ve decided on three games that will keep everyone busy and entertained while they are munching on potato salad, baked beans, and hot dogs.

5) Prepping for the baby shower – the next two weeks I’m in preparation mode for the baby shower. Making sure all the details of the menu are finalized and the games are printed. The most important task is making sure the RSVP’s come in on time. If you are like me calling/texting/face booking to make sure people will show up for the shower. The most difficult of this all is making sure my guests have a place to rest their heads when they come. Both of our families and friends will be traveling from out of town to Charlotte, and the first question is always where will they stay. Of course we can host and hold many people in our home, but we want to make sure people are comfortable. We have 3 extra bedrooms, two with beds, and one that can house a blow up mattress (in the nursery). We also have couches upstairs and downstairs and floors everywhere lol. As my husband likes to tell me often we have no problem with hosting a large group of our family and friends. I understand and want to make it comfortable for my family and friends who drive to help us celebrate Maxwell.







Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Happy Birthday to me! Week 27 Pregnancy Update!

“Go Shawty, It’s Ya Birthday”







Today is my 29th Birthday and I’m 28 weeks pregnant entering my third trimester. I thank God for allowing me to see 29 years on this earth. I am surrounded by love from my husband, family, friends, and associates who are following and praying for us on this journey to baby. As you can imagine the best 29th birthday gift I will receive will be a healthy baby boy in September. It is starting to sink in that I don’t have much time left being pregnant. I’m excited and overwhelmed with the thoughts of actually being a “real” mom. From breastfeeding, diaper changes, to loving on Maxwell, I’m already anxious for this feeling will be new and hard to comprehend. Besides brining Maxwell home there are 29 other things that I would like to accomplish before my 30th Birthday next year.

30 Before 30 Bucket List (in no particular order)

1. Maxwell Brandon McAfee – brining this healthy bundle of joy home. My forever baby!
2. Apply to MBA program.
3. This means I need to take the GMAT. Successfully get a competitive score on the GMAT.
4. Work a job that fulfills and challenges me that I can learn and grow.
5. Balance work and new baby – Defining my success as a working mom
6. Loose baby weight plus 20 lbs
7. Workout for 30 straight days
8. Run a 5K with my husband
9. Learn to Juice purchase a Juicer
10. Vlog our family at Youtube.com/meetthemcafees
11. Learn to edit videos using iMovie/Final Cut Pro
12. Purchase a vlogging camera/DSLR camera
13. Go on more dates with my husband
14. Spend more time and plan more meet-ups/girls weekends with my besties
15. Purchase a designer purse (MK)
16. Purchase a designer pair of shoes (CL)
17. Get back involved with NSBE local chapter
18. Attend NSBE National Conference in Anaheim, CA March 25 – 28, 2015
19. Be a mentor/volunteer -
20. Read at least 12 new books and journal about them
21. Write a manuscript/memoir of my life
22. Blog at least 3x a week
23. Update both blogs with new templates shareemfworld.blogspot.com and ericamcafee.com
24. Grow some herbs
25. Spend more time with family
26. Define my success as a first lady at St. Mark AME Smithfield
27. Write my business plan and create name for business
28. Attend World Natural Hair Show in Atlanta, GA April 2015
29. Learn basic sign language and teach it to Maxwell (Eat, Please, Thank You, I Love You, Milk, etc…)
30. Make more time for me

Below is my 27 week pregnancy update. I always post the previous week’s update on Thursday of my new week.




"29 never looked this good" lol

How far along? 27 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 0lbs this week, 25 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. Praying my shirts make it through the summer for some reason I feel like I'm gonna be humongous.
Cervical length: 3.3-3.7cm Very long and looking great!
Stretch marks: None new
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: naps on the weekend and slowly moving and setting up things in the nursery
Miss anything? Champagne. I'm ready for my celebratory champagne once Maxwell arrives. I don't care who brings it I would appreciate at least 4 ounces. Thank you!
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He moves from head down to feet down. I can't wait until he finds his final place head down. He is head down this week crossing fingers he stays this way.
Food cravings: watermelon and blueberry muffins. I cooked 12 and they turned out amazing.
Anything making you queasy or sick? Acid reflux has gotten worse this week due to milk and not eating smaller meals. I changed to lactose free milk and it's been working thus far. Water and tums are still my best friends.
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None but Braxton Hicks have begun. I never had them during my pregnancy with BJ.
Symptoms: lots of movement and hiccups from Maxwell.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! I always feel like the summer is over after my birthday. Looking forward to what August has to bring including baby shower and finalizing the nursery.
Looking forward to:. My BFF Bridal shower August 2 and my barbecue baby shower August 9.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Welcome to the 3rd Trimester!

We made it to the final trimester the last 10-11 weeks of this pregnancy. God give me peace for the last weeks of this journey! It’s crazy to think 10 weeks ago at 17 weeks I had a cerclage that saved his life and 10 weeks from now I will see and hold him in my arms.


This week has been more difficult emotionally for me as time is winding down and drawing closer to meeting Maxwell. I thought about how life would be like with no kids. Would my husband still love me the same? Would I be ok with not having children of my own? I could always adopt or foster children right? I kept telling myself Erica you will be ok with not having children. Life will go on and you will be fine. It’s like I’m trying to shield myself from what bad could happen at the end of this pregnancy. Then I pray my simple prayer “God please let me keep this baby.”


As much as I like to think I’m not worried, scared, or anxious about my C-section, I am. The date and time will be scheduled very soon. I keep thinking to myself will this baby cry once the doctors take him out of me? Will I get to bring him home? Will this emptiness inside of me go away? I trust God and I do have faith. But worry and doubt creep up inside of me when I feel Maxwell’s every move, kick, and squirm. Every doctor’s appointment I’ve had thus far has been a sigh of relief. Every good report I’ve received makes me feel like something bad is coming. Sometimes I wonder will this be the last time I feel him move? Will this be my last time feeling him alive inside of me? Then I pray my simple prayer “God please let me keep this baby.”


To be pregnant with no guarantee that there will be a living child at the end of it is very brave. I consider myself brave, but I’d much rather consider myself a mother. Please continue to keep Maxwell, my husband Brandon, and myself in your prayers as we complete our journey to baby.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 26 Pregnancy Update!

As much as we like to place tragic memories in the back of our mind, if we had to tell the story again we could recite/write it in vivid detail. Friday, July 12, 2013 was no different. I remember that day like yesterday and woke up in labor thinking my life was over, and that I wouldn’t be able to have healthy children. This Saturday, July 12, 2014 marks a full year since my miscarriage with Brielle. Sometimes I try my hardest to forget that experience because I feel like it could have been prevented. What I wanted then was not God's will. I've finally accepted that a year later. My prayer is that God will bless us and let us keep Maxwell. The cerclage saved his life and sometimes I think that the same procedure could have saved Brielle. I'm still grateful for his life and him growing inside of me.

Week 26 was amazing! We traveled to DMV for July 4th weekend and enjoyed our time with family and friends. We spent some quality time with my mother in love and went to dinner with our friends who are now dating. The best part of the weekend was driving our new car and being told to rest by my husband. I did exactly that plus some more.







How far along? 26 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 2lbs this week, 25 lbs total 11 weeks left in this pregnancy with 10 lbs to gain to meet my goal of 35 lbs total gained this pregnancy. I'm hoping I just gain a 1lb a week and Maxwell gains 0.5lb to 1lb each week. We want him big and strong!
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. Praying my shirts make it through the summer for some reason I feel like I'm gonna be humongous.
Cervical length: 3.3-3.7cm Very long and looking great!
Stretch marks: None new
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: time off from work traveling to the DMV and purchasing some items for Maxwell. Retail therapy always picks me up when I'm feeling down about this pregnancy.
Miss anything? Working out. I was restricted due to my cerclage but now I've been given the green light to walk. It's crazy to think I'm the same weight I was at 36 weeks pregnant with BJ. Ekkk! However I'm not swollen and crazy looking lol
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He moves from head down to feet down. I can't wait until he finds his final place head down.
Food cravings: watermelon and frosted flakes has to be Kellogs brand. Did you know they have Giant packs of FF? Yes I purchased one lol
Anything making you queasy or sick? Acid reflux has gotten worse so I'm not eating anymore red sauce until I deliver. Also, pork mainly bacon is giving me reflux as well. No more bacon either until after Maxwell is here. Water and tums are my best friends.
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None but Braxton Hicks have begun. I never had them during my pregnancy with BJ.
Symptoms: lots of movement and hiccups from Maxwell.
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! It's finally July. Birthday countdown has begun. 1 week 7 days until my Birthday!
Looking forward to:. My birthday July 17 I will be 28 weeks going into the third trimester. My BFF Bridal shower August 2 and my barbecue baby shower August 9.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Delivering at a Different Hospital

The hardest decision aside of naming Maxwell was choosing whether or not we will deliver at the same or a different hospital. After all the pain and tragedy of losing BJ and Brielle at the same hospital it’s only natural to want a different experience. I had a different and more positive experience at the same hospital when I was spotting at 14 weeks and when I had a cerclage/cervical stitch inserted at 17 weeks. I walked away still pregnant and with hope that I would bring this baby home. Having the cerclage procedure done made me more open to having Maxwell at the same hospital. However, my doctor left the decision up to me and I am going to deliver at a different hospital. Below are 2 questions I had to ask myself in making this decision.


What are my options?
My options are wide open. My OB/GYN office has the ability to deliver at any hospital in my area. My main concern was having a specialized NCIU unit and a Pediatric specialist or surgeon in the operating room when my caesarean section occurs. My current hospital does not have this, and the hospital downtown does. Since the doctors still don’t have an exact cause of BJ’s death it is important to me that once Maxwell is out of the OB/GYN hands that he receives the best treatment. I am trusting God by Faith that he is healthy and all of this is just precautionary.


What kind of experience do I want?
I want a nurturing, joyful, celebratory experience when I walk into and out of the hospital. I want to experience tears of joy and not tears of pain. I want to see, touch, hold and smell the fruits of my labor. I want to hear him cry and hold him in my arms. I can imagine a huge burden being lifted from me, going 9 months thinking “will my baby live” to him actually living and breathing. I have dreams of this out of body experience when Maxwell is pulled out of me and I don’t want it to be the same as when I lost BJ. I can't wait to hear him cry. I think I could/would have this experience at both hospitals, but the hospital downtown will give me peace of mind that I’m going there knowing I’m bringing Maxwell home with me.


There is so much anxiety, anticipation, love, fear, and pain that I know will come when Maxwell arrives. I’m just praying that my decision to deliver at a different place will be worth it all.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

It's Bump Day! Week 25 Pregnancy Update!

Week 25 went well. I rushed home to see my grandma who had a stroke. I'm so happy I took the time to go home and see her. She will have to undergo physical and speech therapy, but she is in good spirits and back home. All praises to God for seeing her through! Continue to keep my family in your prayers.

Maxwell is growing. He is measuring at 2lbs 5oz. He will definitely be a bigger baby than his brother BJ. I don't care how big he is I just want him to be healthy! That's all that matters. I'm excited all invites have gone out for my baby shower and am looking forward to finalizing the plans and games for that day.

I'm just thankful to see 25 weeks and being in a safe place of this pregnancy. As much as I could complain about how hot it is outside and how big I'm getting, I'm abundantly blessed and looking forward to being a mom again.







How far along? 25 weeks 4 days
Total weight gain/measurements: 0lbs this week, 18 lbs total
Maternity clothes: Yes. All maternity clothes are in full rotation. Praying my shirts make it through the summer for some reason I feel like I'm gonna be humongous.
Cervical length: 3.3-3.7cm Very long and looking great!
Stretch marks: None new
Sleep: 8-10 hours. Preggo pillow and without.
Best moment this week: my grandma coming home from the hospital after her stroke. Thanks be to God for pulling her through.
Miss anything? Wine and Sangria oh and Mimosas lol
Movement: Yes, lots of movement as he grows. He moves from head down to feet down. I can't wait until he finds his final place head down.
Food cravings: watermelon, coffee, and chocolate
Anything making you queasy or sick? Red sauce gives me acid reflux, but I love it! Tums are my friend lol
Gender: Boy
Name: Maxwell or Max
Labor signs: None but Braxton Hicks have begun. I never had them during my pregnancy with BJ.
Symptoms: None
Belly button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy! It's finally July. Birthday countdown has begun.
Looking forward to:. My birthday July 17 I will be 28 weeks going into the third trimester. My BFF Bridal shower August 2 and my barbecue baby shower August 9.


Keep the Faith!


Until next time,

~E

Creating a Baby Registry - Baby Shower Save the Date!

I am in the mindset that every child deserves their own baby shower regardless if they lived to use the items or even their birth order. I plan to celebrate the arrival of all my children even though I may have everything that is “needed.” I started my baby registry for Maxwell when we found out his gender at 14 weeks. I registered at Target.com, Babies R Us, Burlington Coat Factory, and Wal-Mart. I only really “need” a few items that I didn’t receive during my first shower for BJ and of course you can never go wrong with diapers, wipes, and larger size clothes. Below are a few questions I asked myself when adding things to my registry.

Do I plan to breastfeed? Of course I plan to do so, praying that Maxwell and I both enjoy breastfeeding. I knew I needed to register for nipple cream, breast pads, hands free bra, and a larger suction cups for my Maedela breast pump. My breast pump is still new never been touched so I didn’t need any new accessories or parts. I also registered for a glider/rocker to use during feeds as this was something that I needed. I also registered for bottles that I don’t have that mimic breastfeeding.

Will I cloth diaper or use disposables? I plan to use disposables because of connivances they offer. However, I do understand the biodegradable issue that comes with disposable diapers and I do like to save the environment and our landfills. So, I plan to use natural/biodegradable disposables if possible which I registered for. The ladies at my job asked if I wanted a baby shower and I told them yes a diaper shower would be perfect. I’m hoping that I receive enough diapers to last me until almost the first year. I also registered for wipes and water wipes.

What season will it be when he is 3-6 months, 6-9 months, 9-12 months? I have more than enough onesies, sleepers, and clothes for newborn to 3 months in size. I requested that if clothes are purchased for my baby shower that they are larger sizes. Something that I also considered was the temperature outside when he grew into those clothes. When he is 6 months it will be winter and 3 months later at 9 months it will be Spring/Summer. This was taken into consideration when registering for larger size clothes.

What essential items that I need that I never purchased? I never purchased a rocker/swing or a high chair. I also need more sheets for the crib, pack and play, and some accessories for his room. You can't have enough burp clothes, blankets and sleepers. I imagine Maxwell spending his first 3 months of life in nothing but onesies and sleepers. I registered for larger sizes in all of these. I also registered for a monitor for his room and other little tidbits that I never purchased for BJ.

Overall the baby registry process has been quite cathartic and makes this more real that I will bring him home.

Baby Shower Save the Date!




Everyone is invited, please RSVP for us to get an accurate headcount for the BaBy Q.

Maxwell says hello! Can't wait to meet y'all in September.





Keep the Faith!


Until next time,
~E