It has affected my mental. Thus affecting my work, social, and self. I have lost my passion for doing what I love to do, ENGINEERING!
It is so bad that my supervisor has even come to me to ask me what's going on. Yes, that bad. Ever since my aunt passed away I just can't seem to motivate myself to go 150%. I am floating on Cloud 3 trying to get back to Cloud 9.
I know we all grieve differently, and I know God will never put more on you than you can handle. This is why I have been in this funk. I knew someone was about to pass away in my family, just not who, and after she passed. I haven't truly grieved. I prayed about it already. I need to ask for deliverence from this funk. So, I continue to go about my daily activities not giving my all.
I realize that these feelings are only temporary and that they will eventually go away. But, I just can't seem to shake these thoughts of my purpose. I'm happy, not sad. I love the circle I've created in Texas and where the relationships and friendships are going with those individuals. I am blessed with a supportive, caring, loving church family. I have countless people praying back in VA for my success, well being, and health. Why do I feel this way? Why am I in this funk?
I am determined to get out of it. I am living my life with no regrets. Doing me. Loving me. Remembering that I am my best friend. Loving and trusting God in the process. Then he comes along. Let's call him, TDH, he is packaged right. Tall, dark, handsome, (hence TDH) christian, employeed, and got his own. They say he may not come when you want him but he is always right on time. Meaning God, but in this case I mean TDH.
Most of the guys I talk to or am currently "dating" don't live near me. No more no less than an hour and half away. Crazy huh? Yes, well TDH lives in the same city and works at the same company with me. Double negative. I typically don't date people I work with. Never even thought about welcoming someone who lived in the same city. Let's say this is very new for me.
Chemistry is out of this world. Conversation is never ending. Expectations and intentions have been laid on the table. Talks about vacationing together have been mentioned and solidified. I'm just trying to be like John Legend and take it slow. But, this is very new and its taking me out of my funk. I don't think thats a bad thing.
I continue to pray to God asking him for guidance. Stay doing me and being my own best friend. Not getting caught up in the "what if's" of this new courtship. Praying for TDH and his intentions/expectations. Praying for my purpose and clarification on these feelings that I am having. A relationship or the thoughts of one was never in my plans to get out of my Texas Funk. God works in mysterious ways, and TDH is helping me make Texas more funky.
Keep the Faith!
Until next time,
~E
No comments:
Post a Comment