I'm a bit passive, but yet very aggressive.

1 John 4:4 He who is in you is greater than he is who is in the world!

This last month of being "EMF Under Construction" has revealed to me some characteristics about my personality that I love and some I need to work on.  At work, I find myself being very passive about certain things.  I shut up and don't voice my opinion.  I do this because I don't want to "put my foot in my mouth" or "step on anyone's toes."  Although we are all from the same race.  The human race.  I feel if I voiced my opinion on certain issues, because I am one of the only blacks yet alone females in my group I will quickly get put on the outside.  So, rather than saying anything off the wall crazy.  I find myself voicing my opinion, but not really expressing my passion on certain topics.  Plus, I don't want to stir up the comradery between my fellow coworkers.   I like to call it being observant of people and their actions, words, and characters.  I know that there is a time and place for certain discussions and I know my place. 

However, when I need to get a job accomplished and I feel like I have adequate knowledge on a subject at hand I am very in your face aggressive.  I say what I mean, mean what I say, and don't need you coming to question me about something I did correctly the first time.  So, I am passive aggressive!  I am not sure if that is a good or bad thing.  I do know that persistence, determination, and faith has brought me to this point in life.  I love that I am able to adapt to situations.  But my problem now is that I don't feel like I've truly been myself at work.  Simply put I am not comfortable at work to be "EMF".  I feel like my passive nature, easy going spirit, and very laid back personality is how others perceive me, but I really am the opposite.  I am, can be very in your face, direct, you will give me an answer right now, type of gal.  Some may call it a feminist, a bitch, or me showing that I have "balls" like the rest of em, but I call it being me.  I don't want to be labled as the "shaking your head, rolling neck black girl from VA."  But, I also don't want to be looked as a pushover.  Which I clearly am NOT!!!  As I restle with this passive aggressive personality I can only think of where my help comes from.  "He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world."  Thank God for continuing to abide in me and being greater than anyone else in my life and in the world.  As I continue on this journey to find "me" in Christ, I know that I need to pray about being "me" at work.  I think there is a fine line between being perceived as a "bitch" and "go getter".  I want to be perceived as the latter. Something that I am working on and praying about. 

What are some personality traits of yourself that you are working on?  At work do you feel like you need to conform to "fit it"?  Are you ok with being the outsider?

Keep the Faith!

Until next time,
~E