When to announce when you are pregnant after pregnancy loss?

Sharing with others that you are pregnant is the most exciting thing to do when it’s your first pregnancy or you have had successful pregnancies (i.e. Healthy children). Family and friends support you by congratulating you on getting pregnant knowing you will have a healthy baby. However, sharing that you are pregnant after you have lost children is the most uneasy thing to do. Many people including family and friends are apprehensive and indifferent. They don’t know what to say when you announce that you are expecting again. Joy and excitement from the first pregnancy or even the second pregnancy isn’t there. Instead you are met with fear, doubt, and worry that something will happen to the baby you are carrying or even worse that something will happen to you. Many prayers are sent up to heaven that this pregnancy will end up with a healthy baby to bring home.

Here are 3 suggestions on when to announce you are pregnant to the world after you have lost children.

Wait until first check up or ultrasound to tell parents.
My husband of course knew first as we took the pregnancy test I purchased two weeks prior hoping it would be positive. Soon after, I texted a picture of the positive pregnancy tests to my sister. She knows how much I desire to have children and has been my biggest cheerleader when she knew we were trying again. I waited until my first appointment at 7 weeks to tell my mom that I was expecting. I was in the parking lot after my appointment with the OB/GYN and told her that we were expecting again. I knew that she would be the most concerned as pregnancy takes a toll on your body and this is my 3rd pregnancy in 3 years. She is very supportive overall and knows that all I want in life right now is a healthy baby and to make her a grandma again. I told my best friends after my first ultrasound at 8 weeks by showing them a pic on our Group Me chat. They were all very excited and supportive. I also told my immediate supervisor after 8 weeks because I knew that with this pregnancy I would have more frequent doctor’s visits. This is very true, I’m 15 weeks this week and I have been to the doctor 7 times in the last 8 weeks with many more visits to come.

Wait until you are out of First Trimester to tell family and friends.
Pregnancy trimesters are measured based on 40 weeks. First trimester is week 1 to week 12. Second trimester is week 13 to week 27. Third trimester is week 28 to week 40. Most miscarriages occur within the first trimester. Although I have never experienced a first trimester miscarriage I still wanted to wait until we were well into the 2nd trimester to announce that I was expecting. Waiting to announce after the first trimester ensures you are in the clear of when most miscarriages occur. Even if you have never experienced a miscarriage, never say that it cannot happen to you, because you aren’t in control God is!


Wait until you are past the time you miscarried to tell co-workers.
Experiencing loss after loss with those you see every day is challenging and quite embarrassing. These are the people you spend more time with than your significant other, family, and friends. Naturally people are very judgmental and don’t know what to say when you tell them you are expecting again. When I told people I was pregnant with Brielle after losing my son BJ I was faced with judgment and my integrity and character was questioned. Could she handle this job? Will she still be able to perform? How much time will she be out of work? I plan to write a more detailed blog post on pregnancy in the workplace and how to handle criticism. The only person at work that knows I’m pregnant is my immediate supervisor. I lost Brielle at 18 weeks and I plan to wait until after then to tell my co-workers in my immediate group, my supervisor’s boss, and all others will see my baby bump grow. I will not entertain negative energy or thoughts towards this gift God has given me. Frankly, I’m not obligated to tell anyone my personal business even if they feel like they should know.

All in all announce your pregnancy to who you want to when you are comfortable and ready to do so. Not everyone is going to support you and your decision to have more children despite your losses. Continue to pray and ask God when the right time is to share with others and he will ultimately let you know.


Keep the Faith!

Until next time,
~E