Deleting My Baby Registry

Last April, I immediately created a baby registry on Target.com when we found out we were expecting a girl, we named Brielle, around 13 weeks (yes I know that is very early in a pregnancy, but we had extensive genetic testing completed based the loss of our son Brandon Jr.). I knew then that I didn’t need much. I had a crib, tons of wipes, Dreft washing detergent, wipes warmer, diaper genie, baby bullet, breast pump, car seat/stroller, pack and play, and plenty of boy clothes and accessories. Everything that was intended for my baby boy Brandon Jr. was new, never been used, and most of the clothes still had tags on them. I went through the clothes and separated out what I considered “gender neutral” and placed them in a drawer. I moved all of the “boyish” clothes to another drawer, and emptied two drawers for baby girl clothes for Brielle. I knew I wanted the cute pink, purple, mint green, leopard (yes, it is a colorJ) for my new baby girl, and that is why I created a registry. I realized when we lost our son Brandon Jr. that I wanted to enjoy every aspect of my new pregnancy even if I really didn’t need anything and the registry was just full of girl clothes. Also, creating the baby registry made me realize that the pregnancy was real, and that I could/would experience the joy of having a healthy living baby.




Last July, when we lost Brielle, the last thought that crossed my mind was deleting the baby registry for my baby girl that was gone too soon. I accidently typed in my name and entered search, when searching online at Target.com for options for a friends upcoming baby shower. Low and behold came up my registry for Brielle. All of the window treatments, bedding, girlish car seat/stroller option, and slew of girl clothes popped up and had me in my feelings. I used to avoid the baby section in stores because of this very feeling. The feeling of emptiness, that someone I love and never got to know is missing from my life and gone forever. I had my moment then brought myself back to reality. I went through the registry and looked at the items that I had listed for my baby girl and knew that I needed to delete it. I knew that for future pregnancies, I needed to have that same joy that I had when creating the registry for Brielle. Seeing her baby registry during a future pregnancy would take that joy away. So, I deleted the baby registry. As my husband and I try again for more children, we want to enjoy every aspect of parenthood, from conceiving, pregnancy, labor & delivery (in my case a scheduled caesarean section), and bringing a healthy baby home. “But through it all, I remember, that he loves me, and he cares, and he’ll never put more on me than I can bear” More Than I Can Bear by Kirk Franklin





Keep the Faith!

Until next time,

~E