Envy of Pregnant Women

After my miscarriage of my baby girl Brielle last July, it seemed like everyone in my timeline, family, friends, and associates, was announcing their pregnancies on Facebook and Instagram. I thought that losing another child would never happen to me twice in a row, back to back. I didn’t think that the journey to having living children would be so difficult for me and my husband. But everyone has their something,cue Robin Roberts.

Pregnancy is a miracle. It's very complex, from the day of ovulation, conception, labor, delivery, and birth. Technically most women have only 5-6 days of fertile period including the day of ovulation. If conception doesn’t occur during that peak period before ovulation then Aunt Flo comes to visit reminding you that you have to try again next month.

There is a difference between jealousy and envy, and both are distinct feelings. Jealousy is the result or fear of losing someone or something that one owns. Envy is the resentment caused by another person having something that one does not have, but desires for oneself. We tend to use both feelings out of context when you maybe feeling jealous, but really you are feeling envious.

That envious feeling is what I felt toward those pregnant women in my timeline. I was envious of the joyful naivety that those moms to be had toward their new pregnancy. Did they know how blessed they are? Did they understand how hard it is to conceive for some women? Did they understand that they were carrying a miracle? At the same time I can’t help but wonder if those women are the 1 in 4 whose innocence of pregnancy has been harshly ripped away like mine. Below are three tips that I used to help me move past envy to joy.


1. Allowing myself to feel envious – it is completely normal to do so. I had many moments where I was like why them? Why not me? I really had to pray and ask God to remove the feelings of envy from my heart and replace it with joy for everyone in my timeline. My time will come and God will bless me with living children.

2. Being positive and patient – I know that what God has for me will come to pass in his timing. Sometimes we have to get out of our own way and stop trying to control everything and watch God move. I can only imagine what will happen in my life when I continue to do so. :D

3. Maximizing my health – although there is nothing physically that is keeping me from having healthy, living children improving my eating habits and overall health increases my chances of conceiving quicker.


Have you ever felt envy? Wondered why them and not you? How did you move pass envy to joy?


Keep the Faith!

Until next time,
~E