A "rainbow baby" is a baby that is born following a miscarriage, still birth, or infant loss.
In the real world, a beautiful and bright rainbow follows a storm and gives hope of things getting better. The rainbow is more appreciated having just experienced the storm in comparison.
The storm (pregnancy loss) has already happened and nothing can change that experience. Storm-clouds might still be overhead as the family continue to cope with the loss, but something colorful and bright has emerged from the darkness and misery. – The Urban Dictionary
I have been very up front that, Brandon, my husband, and I are trying again to conceive our “rainbow baby.” We drove to Myrtle Beach, SC this past weekend for a Leadership Retreat with our church. While driving I spotted this rainbow, indicating a storm had passed. It was very distinct and was bright with the rays of the sun. I kept staring at the rainbow and couldn’t help but to think of my future rainbow baby.
How would he/she be? How would they look? How would I be as a mom of a living child? How Brandon would be as a dad? Could I juggle career and family success? Am I ready emotionally for another pregnancy? Do I want to have a baby in 2014? Or should we wait until April to conceive to guarantee a 2015 baby? All of these questions cross my mind when I think of my rainbow baby, but I’m faithful that God will grant me the desires of my heart, a healthy, living, and crying at birth baby.
A few weeks ago, Brandon taught a bible study lesson on Hannah. In 1 Samuel 1, it tells a story of Hannah’s faith and hope in God providing her children. Hannah was baron and could not have children with her husband Elkanah. Elkanah’s second wife Penniah had children and teased Hannah because she was baron. Every year they would go to the temple to offer their sacrifices, and this year Hannah went and prayed to God for herself. This was forbidden in those days only prophets were allowed to pray to God or intercede on their behalf. Eli, the prophet, saw Hannah praying to God, but she didn’t move her lips. He thought she was drunk, but she wasn’t drunk she was faithful and was pouring her soul to the Lord. Eli said to go in peace and that God will bless her with what she asked for. Hannah went home and did the thang with her husband Elkanah and she conceived a son named Samuel. In 1 Samuel 1:27 Hannah says that “For this child I prayed and the Lord granted us what we asked for.” She dedicated her son Samuel back to the Lord and he went on to be a great prophet for God.
I tell this story because like Hannah, Bathsheba, Sarah, and many other women who have loss children or struggled to have children in the bible one thing that was consistent is their faith in God. I dream of my rainbow baby and constantly think of how my faith has to conquer my fears of losing another child. I like Hannah have prayed for my rainbow baby and I’m replacing my fears and doubts with faith and hope. I know that when we conceive our rainbow baby it’s going to be an emotional 10 month journey to bringing home a baby. My hope is that you will continue to join me along this journey with continuing to read and comment, and believing in faith over fear!
Keep the Faith!
Until next time,
~E
No comments:
Post a Comment